Easier Said Than Done
When I began this blog, not at all long ago, I imagined it being a place to discuss the day to day life of a graduate student working as a graduate assistant. In the intervening weeks, since school began at the end of August, I have been so remarkably busy that I’ve hardly had time for sleep, let alone blogging. My imagination may have run away with me in envisioning what I would do with this blog, I exercised more optimism than I’ve ever been able to muster in considering what I might write. The truth is, I’m exhausted. Going to graduate school full time, and working what amounts to a full-time job, though it’s only supposed to be 20 hours a week, is exhausting.
I wanted to talk about work, about the students and the situations I’m experiencing, but I’m afraid. There’s this ethical gap I’m trying to see my way across. It’s a mine field of allowed and disallowed, which I’m trying to quietly navigate. If I discuss the students, their work, or the way they write and behave, I could lose my job. I could omit their names, which is a no-brainer, but should it ever be discovered, well, it could cause me quite the ordeal. To discuss something like students, which is confidential, is unethical. It’s true that this blog is anon, the students would be anon, the professors, likewise anon, but we all know that what goes online isn’t completely anonymous. Nothing we put out there is truly a secret. It all comes down to the likelihood that my identity would be discovered. I just don’t know.
What I do know is, for now, I’m exhausted. I’ve been working since 7:30am. It’s now 10:30pm and I’m just finishing up my homework. Tomorrow, it’s back to work at 9:00 a.m., back to the drawing board. Thankfully, I only work from 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. on Wednesdays. I get an afternoon off, but need to spend it doing my homework or cleaning my house. It would seem, in addition to working and going to school, the fact that I’m not a traditional student, and that I have a husband, means I have to keep my house clean, too. I’m hardly ever here to make the messes, but they’re made nonetheless. Right now, my house looks like a tornado blew through here.
Off to bed before my eyes close right here. Good night.
